Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Feelings vs Fact

Feeling: No one wants me around.

Fact: No one wants me around if I go around saying weird stuff like, “no one wants me around.”

Feeling: I’m morbidly obese.
Fact: I’m morbidly obese in Los Angeles.

Feeling: Everything about me is too big.

Fact: My heart and sensitivity are quite big. My pussy is not.

Feeling: I don’t have any friends.

Fact: I don’t have any of the NBC Friends tv show on dvd.

Feeling: I hurt everyone I love.

Fact: I kick everyone I love’s ass at air hockey.

Feeling: Everyone would be happier if I wasn’t around.

Fact: Some people would be happier if I wasn’t around, but they are probably men’s rights activists or something gross like that. Some people would be sadder if I wasn’t around. Most people would not notice or care. Some people would be happier if I was happier.

Feeling: My weirdness fucked up my parents' marriage.

Fact: 1/2 of all marriages end. My parents are still together. Most relationships go through a rough patch. My parents had a rough patch and I was the topic, but if I hadn't been the topic of the rough patch, something else would have been the topic and they still would have had aforementioned patch. Relationships are like jean jackets: lots of rough patches on the ones that last.

Feeling: My shyness and social anxiety hurt a lot of people's feelings.

Fact: ...Male seahorses carry the baby when they're pregnant.

Feeling: I’m an asshole.

Fact: Everyone’s an asshole sometimes

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