Friday, June 5, 2015

What my unused antidepressants must be thinking

In the last year I gradually worked to get off of my antidepressants. (Unrelatedly I also struggled to get off on my antidepressants.) A few weeks ago I finally succeeded in tapering down to nothing. Now there are several bottles sitting in my bathroom, and I just wonder what it is they are saying amongst themselves.

- Yeah, there's been a lot of cutbacks at the old Barbara factory.

-Tell me about it. First she starts cutting Citalopram's hours. You know Cita has a wife and kids to support!

-Yeah I hear the Barbara facotry is outsourcing all the work to her natural serotonin.

-Ugh. I hate nepotism. 

-Natural body chemicals swooping in here and stealing all the SSRI's jobs.

-It's just wrong.

-Right. In this economy! 

-And you won't believe what I heard... I..

-What is it? 

-You know Klonopin? 

-Oh yeah, great dude.

-Well, she's been using less and less of him, but she's been cutting him up into pieces as she does.

-Oh my god. What a psychopath.

-She's a monster.

-She must be stopped.

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